What do you say after an extended (like super extended) absence from writing and sharing on your blog?
I am sorry would seem as if y'all weren't able to go on with life without me....so we know that is not the right route to go! I am back!!! Would imply that I may or may not be here more frequently; so I am going to go with: Let's Catch Up.
We've moved. Across the country, to our "home" to Michigan.
Texas is/was very good to us, it allowed B to take his career to the next level and expand his network quite well and provided us an opportunity to move here and try to plant some roots back in our home state.
We are the PROUD owners of our very own home again!
I would be lying to you if I said it has been easy, fun, like-able or anything but a learning process.
Emilee and B have excelled here, they are happy here and well I am rocking along here. Being in Michigan within 20 miles of where I grew up, got married, and lost a lot of my life in a cycle of abuse, craziness and family feuds has been anything but desirable. It has proved to be very difficult for me and some things that I felt were really positive in my life have taken a nose dive and I am being candid in saying I have had to seek an army of help to pull me out of the trenches.
If you follow me on IG you are aware of the battle I am facing right now with anorexia. You are aware of the road to recovery and are supporting more than I could ever imagine. I cannot express to you the gratitude I have for each comment, direct message or "you go girl" I get. These proclamations of your faith in my getting better have been instrumental in taking the plunge to ENSURE I follow my plan, I excel at it and I HEAL from the inside out in order to make the most of the life I have here.
I never thought as a former 400# person I would be battling an eating disorder or that at some point I would become "too skinny". It seems so much of my life was focused on losing the weight, keeping it off and trying to transform my body into something it was never going to be regardless of the # blinking back at me each Saturday morning on the scale.
So in a pretty bold move after many attempts to deceive my coach, Brian, my heart and my head I did something I never imagined I would do.
I threw the scale out the back door and said goodbye to my emotional attachment to the #. My lowest weight was 118#s and at almost 5'9" and eating less than 600 calories a day my behaviors were anything but "healthy living". Recovery started in Feb, but I never gave it a fair shot outside of ONE KEY variable. I started lifting weights in addition to running.
My days are FULL, my workouts are TOUGH and my running has improved TEN FOLD. If you would have asked me 6 months ago to pick up a weight I may have only to throw it at you.
I AM IN LOVE.
Running is great, and I am about to begin training for Goofy's Challenge again in a month and I am thrilled; but I am even more thrilled or elated that I am able to work with a BRILLIANT coach, I have a beautiful team made up of strong and encouraging women and I am transforming my body in ways I never dreamed were possible. All while trying to mend the broken parts emotionally and physically speaking.
I've missed blogging and the blogging community and I have been shown amazing grace and mercy from so many of you who have reached out knowing I was suffering and in need of support. Again I thank you so very much for your kind words, help, suggestions and love.
I don't know what will happen going forward with the blog but I do hope that I am able to keep it up and possibly reach someone who is struggling with an Eating Disorder since so many of you have helped me.